I hope you enjoy my blog...if you do, please "follow" me! XOXOXO...BettyShmetty

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On the road again...Part 1...Bunnie and Clyde

I recently had the pleasure of reading a post in my new friend Dweej's blog "House Unseen.  Life Unscripted" (please check out her blog...it's so funny!)  Anyway, I read this particular entry in her blog regarding the road trip she took with her kids when they all moved from California to Michigan to move into their new (I use that term loosely) house.  Her story brought back some crazy memories from when I was a kid and after I commented on her post, she suggested that I write my story.  So here I go, stealing her idea for a little while...

Before I can tell you the story about the road trip(s) I have to give you the background info first, so this post is going to "pave the way" so to speak for the rest of the story.  Many of you who read this blog know that I don't really have a good relationship with my mom.  More than anything, it's probably because she is just plain loco.  Let me explain...

(A little side note:  you guys are probably going to think I am making this stuff up because it is absolutely crazy and "there is no way you (meaning me) had that life and are who you are now...you're a cop for cripes sakes!"  Seriously, I'm serious, I am not making this up.)

By the time I came along into my mother's life, she had been married 4 times (and later another four times making that a grand total of 8 times!) and had given birth to three other children.

I don't really know all of the details about who and where all of those other half-siblings of mine went, but the stories I heard along the way were something about my mom being a "little wild" and getting herself in some legal trouble and losing custody of her kids (two girls and a boy.)  No one could or would ever go into any more of an explanation than that and my mother refused to talk about it.  All three of those kids had different dads too.  Apparently, the kids were taken away from mom and were adopted into other families.  Since that was so long ago (late 50's) there are no records that I know of and I wouldn't know where to start looking.  I've kind of given up on that issue.
So now, mom is single (again) and has no children living with her.  Her profession at the time was bartending.   My mom was a real looker back in the day and had no trouble finding ways to keep herself occupied...only problem is, she was a bit of a rebel and didn't care much for silly rules and laws.  Her boyfriend at the time was a really bad guy.  He had already spent time in jail for various things like stealing cars and robbing stores.  Once, he even escaped from jail (I swear I am not making this stuff up!)  So he (let's call him Clyde) and my mom (we'll just call her Bunnie...get it?) are hanging out one night with some friends and Clyde thinks it will be a great idea to rob a Brinks truck.  Are you listening??  He said he thought it would be a great idea to rob a Brinks truck (yes, those Brinks trucks!)  So they make a plan and Bunnie is elected to be the driver (probably because she was a great driver since her dad taught her how to drive his farm truck when she was three, but I digress...)  So they did it.  They ROBBED A BRINKS TRUCK OF $80,000 DOLLARS!!  WITH GUNS!!  Way back then (1963) that was a really lot of money and (at the time) was the largest armored car heist ever.  (Again, not making this up, I have a copy of the newspaper article!)
Okay, so after that, they split the money 5 ways (there were three other guys involved) and then proceeded to foolishly spend the money thereby making themselves "persons of interest" in the case and eventually getting themselves caught by the F.B.I.  (Still not making this up.)  My mom ended up spending some time in jail and then, in order to avoid testifying against Clyde, she married him...ugh, yeah, I said she married him.  While he was in jail.  Waiting for his trial.  For robbing the Brinks truck.

Now, here's a tricky little side note...some of you know that I don't actually know who my biological father is.  My mom (Bunnie) has told me SEVERAL different stories about who he might be.  Two of my own personal theories are that he is either some random guy from a random bar (it was the sixties, remember?) or he could be Clyde.  I know, I know...he was in jail you say.  Well, I have a theory about that.  Remember how I told you that my mom married him while they were waiting for their trial?  Well, this whole hot mess (robbery, getting caught, spending time in jail) all happened during the time frame leading up to and including when I would have been conceived, sooooo, I'm just sayin' it's a possibility.  What I have never been able to find out is whether they allowed Bunnie and Clyde a conjugal visit to consummate the joyous occasion of their wedding vows.

So I am going to end part 1 here.  Tomorrow, I'll continue with the story right after I finish playing cop for the police department (my monthly reserve officer time.)  Until then, say a prayer that no one tells my mom that I am "telling" on her.  In our house, we were supposed to be good at keeping secrets...I know none of YOU will say anything ;)

13 comments:

Anna Marie said...

OHHHH I am soooo telling !! LOL Hi sis love it so far , I know can you believe this is our beginning?! Looking forward to part two even though I know it to well :( . Just do me a favor DON"T hold back tell all .

Love you, Anna

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

HOLY CRAPTASTICAL CRAPULONS! Diana, for realz, girl....you cannot just keep me hanging like that! And I thought *I* had a "non-traditional" childhood. Wow. Wowiezowie wowzers. I'm so speechless I can only manage to say words that aren't actual words. Like zoinks.

I seriously cannot wait to read part two!

my3littlebirds said...

Oh my goodness. Stopping by on Dwija's recommendation...and I'd glad I did!

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Ok that's just insane. And sort of funny. Can't wait to read part deux.

Oh and hello! I'm new here. Nice to meet you!

Diana Burfield (BettyShmetty) said...

@Anna, I will do my best to tell it Sissy...as I write it, I am enjoying the twisted and funny turns it is taking. Maybe telling it like this is the best way to put it all to rest...I love you!

@Dwija, thanks for the nudge and encouragement!

@my3littlebirds and Allison, thank you for coming to my blog and letting me know! I know it's crazy...like they say, truth is stranger than fiction :)

No. 7 said...

visiting from House Unseen and holy crap, so happy I did! Trust me, you aren't alone in the world. I think we might be related...LOLLOL! Can I guest post on your blog? My parents have found mine and they'll know if I tell on them...by the way, one of my father's "ladies" was nicknamed Bunnie.

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Ooooh, I wanna guest post too if that's how it's gonna be, 'cause I'm pretty sure my parents read mine. We could have a special club: "Dysfunctional childhoods lead to super awesome/slightly messed up women" Woot!

Diana Burfield (BettyShmetty) said...

@Dweej and No. 7...I would love to have you guest post! How fun would that be?? How do we do it? I'm new to all this...

Full Spectrum Mom said...

To Dwiji (who sent me here, too), Betty, and No.7: Be careful1 you border on endorsing a crazy upbringing when you turn out so, well, awesome!

Hope the writing proves cathartic, Diana. The cliffhanger will definitely make me a follower!

No. 7 said...

Let's start a blog that is simply a hosting spot for people to share their parental horror stories.

No. 7 said...

...and good point, Full Spectrum! The writing part is most definitely cathartic though :)

Diana Burfield (BettyShmetty) said...

You ladies are so fun! And yes, it IS cathartic. It is also awesome to get the positive comments and encouragement after relating this story...thank you!

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Hi! I'm stopping by from the recommendation of No. 7 and Dweeja, and now I'm hooked! So glad I started reading after you had already posted parts 2 and 3...this is an incredible story! Can't wait to read the rest...See you in parts 2 and 3 :)