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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Friday night's dinner conversation...

Husband:  Did you get the video I sent you today?

Me:  The one about the Johnson thing?

Husband:  Yeah, funny right?

Lee:  Johnson?

Me:  It's a boat motor, but also refers to a man's man part.

Husband:  It's a boat motor.

Lee:  Oh, that's funny!  Start my Johnson!  Drive my Johnson!

Jack:  Grind my Johnson!  Take my Johnson for a walk!

Husband:  Prime my Johnson, choke my Johnson.

Me:  The guy in the video Daddy is referring to is singing about his boat motor.

Jack:  Is there a girl in the video?

Me:  Yes, that's what makes it so funny.

Lee:  I gotta Johnson!

Husband:  Alright, that's enough talk about Johnsons.

Jack:  (In a deep creepy voice that sort of sounds like Jim Carey as an announcer)  Well, it's better  than THE VAGINA!  The ancient vagina...

Husband:  Alright, this is getting a little out of hand...

Me:  (Trying not to giggle)  Ok, this isn't really...

Jack:  (Still in creepy announcer voice)  The ancient Vagina is prehistoric and...

Me:  (Now giggling)  Prehistoric?

Husband:  Well, they have been around for a long time.

Lee:  It's a prehistoric dinosaur vagina.

Me:  Okay, okay, let's settle down.

Jack:  Well, vagina is better than saying pussy.  You said we can't say pussy.

Me:  You're saying it, you need to stop now.

Husband:  Okay guys, that's enough.

Lee:  Yeah Jack.

Jack:  Can I say the B word?

Husband:  No, what's wrong with you?

Jack:  It's in the dictionary.  You said we can say words that are in the dictionary. 

Lee:  Ass is in the dictionary.

Husband:  This conversation is not helping our digestion.

Jack:  What if you're digesting an Ass?

Husband:  (To me)  Can you believe these kids? 

Me:  I need a drink.

Here's the video that started the whole thing....


Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Oh my....only a matter of time before we'll be dealing with the same level of ridiculousness. Can I pre-drink?

Diana Burfield (BettyShmetty) said...

Sadly, it really IS the only way...spanking them doesn't work any more, they are as tall as I am and their booties are so hard that I always hurt my hand when I try it. My only consolation is that prior to this conversation, Jack said the most lovely pre-dinner prayer...sigh.

Melicent Homan said...

Aha! Finally an advantage in having just daughters. This conversation would never happen at my dinner table - at least I think it wouldn't...